Home / N. Ex-vegans: why I gave up / Part IND
"I admire you, but I can't do it"
this phrase concedes the moral point: if there were nothing admirable, there would be nothing to admire. What remains is the gap between agreeing and doing, which is usually smaller than it seems. "I can't" almost always means "I can't all at once", and gradual changes, with support, work better than the all-or-nothing idea. It's one of the best openings for a conversation, not the end of it.
Short answer
Thank you. And if you admire it, you already agree with the most important thing: that animals matter. The good news is that no one needs to do everything at once. You can start with one meal a day, one product, one week. I didn't change in a day either. Want me to show you where I started?
For children
When someone says "I can't", sometimes they mean "it's hard". Riding a bike also seemed impossible at first, and we learned little by little, with someone holding on. With animals it's similar: you can start with one meal, then another, with help.
"If it didn't have to be all at once, what could you change this very week?"
Como pode aparecer
"I admire you, but I can't do it."
"I wish I had your willpower."
"I did try, but I'm not strong like you."
"I admire vegans, but it's not for me."
"I know it's wrong, but I won't change." (which is E12)
"Nobody's perfect; I do what I can." (which is E6)
The strongest version
"I really admire you, honestly. But I can't do it. I've tried and I couldn't."
Strongest version (steelman):
- P1Veganism is admirable.
- P2I tried, or I imagine I would try, and couldn't keep it up.
- P3No one is obliged to do what they can't do.
- CSo I'm not obliged to be vegan.
P1 is an important concession. P3 is true: ought implies can. The problem lies in P2: "I can't" usually means "it's hard" or "I didn't manage the first time", not "it's impossible". What is hard is still possible, especially step by step and with help.
The argument is valid, but not sound: it confuses hard with impossible.
Full answer
- a
Reconstruction and diagnosis
The phrase has two parts, and the first is the more important one:
Part What it says What it means "I admire you" Veganism is good The person agrees with the moral point "But I can't do it" It's too hard The question has become practical, not moral - b
Where the argument breaks
1. Admiration concedes the moral point.
No one admires someone for doing something indifferent or wrong. If the person admires it, they already recognize there's a reason to change (E12).
2. Hard isn't impossible.
"Ought implies can" applies to the impossible, not to the hard. Many hard things are required of everyone: not lying, keeping promises, caring for those who depend on us.
3. You don't have to manage everything at once.
The all-or-nothing idea gets in the way. Cutting down gradually, swapping one product a week and learning a few recipes lets the change last.
4. Willpower counts for less than support.
In the Faunalytics survey, 84% of former vegetarians and vegans didn't take part in any group or organization. The difference between those who succeed and those who give up usually lies in support, recipes and a network, not in some special strength.
5. It's an opening, not an end.
Someone who says "I admire you" is open. Responding with warmth and practical help tends to work better than responding with reproach.
- c
Data and sources
Source What it says Note Faunalytics, 2014 84% of former vegetarians and vegans didn't take part in groups; 37% are interested in going back Survey carried out in 2014 in the United States Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, "Weakness of Will" Weakness of will is acting against one's own better judgment A topic discussed since Aristotle - d
The strongest counter-reply: everyone has their own story, and some people really can't
The most serious version says: there are people with eating disorders, poverty, illnesses or routines that make change much harder. Demanding the same of them as of those who have time and money is unfair.
- e
Why the counter-reply doesn't reach the conclusion
In those cases, the right thing is to do what's possible.
No one asks for the impossible. But most people who say "I can't" aren't in that situation.
Even in hard cases there's something to do.
Cutting down, swapping some products, supporting collective changes.
Difficulty doesn't change what is right.
It changes how much can be asked of each person, not whether animals matter.
- f
Back to the moral question
Someone who says "I admire you" has already answered the moral question: animals matter, and sparing them is good. What's missing is the path. The useful conversation, from here on, is about how, not whether.
Reasoning errors
Logical
Is the form valid?
Confusing hard with impossible
False dichotomy
Moral
Is the criterion coherent?
Akrasia
Biases
Dissociation
Admires in the abstract, and doesn't think of the animal on the plate
Extrapolations
The principle being tested is: "if I admire something but find it hard, I have no reason to do it".
If it applied to…Quitting smokingTap to see
Someone who admires people who quit would have no reason to try
No one concludes this
If it applied to…Giving bloodTap to see
Someone who admires donors would have no reason to donate
Admiration usually leads to trying
If it applied to…StudyingTap to see
Someone who admires people who study could skip studying
Absurd
Contradictions
If it were indifferent, there would be nothing to admire.
Work, study, raising children.
But hasn't tried with support.
What the argument gets right
What is true
It's right that changing is hard, that willpower alone is rarely enough and that some people face real obstacles. It's also right to admire: it's a generous response, and it deserves to be received generously.
But
But admiration is already agreement. What's missing isn't persuasion, but help taking the first step.
Connections
Usually comes before
Usually comes after